Category: Uncategorized

In spite of problems

I find myself on a new front in my fight with cancer. I’ve been on some type of chemotherapy, radiation or immunotherapy treatment for years now. I’m recently started a new treatment that has harsh side effects. My body has not been given a chance to rest between treatments and I’ve gotten weaker. I struggle with severe abdominal pain and I lost a considerable amount of weight in a short time.

And yet, despite the problems, I feel it is well with my soul. I still feel joyful in the Lord and my hope is in Him. I expectantly wait upon Him in all aspects of my life, not just in the problems.

This great hope is being Jesus’ child knowing He walks with me in trouble. I know He rescues me because I believe in Him and His promises. He sacrificed himself on the cross to save us from our sins so we may live forever with Him. This present life is not my home; I’m just passing through. My real home is Heaven and this present life prepares me to become more like Jesus.

Trials mature us to grow up. My prayer is to have Apostle Paul’s attitude:

”I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this be because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:10-13

Lord, I pray I don’t focus just on my problems and complain about my problems to others. My prayer is to live a joy filled life despite the problems and be a light that reflects You.

“For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come.

Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise -the fruit of lips that confess His name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”

Hebrews 13:15-16

are amongst us!

Do you believe in angels? They are surely in the Bible. In Psalm 91:11-12, the protection psalm, God gives command to His angels to guard us in all our ways, to lift us up in their hands, lest we strike our foot against a stone. There are many stories involving angels in the Bible of testing us, visiting us, avenging on the Lord’s behalf, protecting us and they will be instrumental on the Day of the Lord to carry out His commands.

I believe that angels are still as active today as they were in the Bible. Years ago, my husband and I were traveling to Albuquerque to receive cancer treatment, and we were on a 65 mile stretch of desolate highway with nothing in between. It was approximately 6:15 am in the morning. All of a sudden, a man was standing in the middle of the road waving his arms. I didn’t see him before driving up on him for I was glancing at my husband in conversation. The man was trying to hitch a ride to Albuquerque – 105 miles away. We pulled over and my husband got out of the car and lifted the back tailgate. All my seats were down, so he climbed in and collapsed. We were uncertain of our passenger, but he appeared to be sleeping. When we arrived in Albuquerque I pulled over to a convenience gas station just a mile away from my cancer center. Larry opened the tailgate and our passenger got out. I pulled out some money to give to him as Larry was letting him know that we had a cancer appointment to be at. The man gave us a smirk and he started walking down the road. I glanced away for less than 5 seconds and when I looked back up he was gone! It just seemed like he disappeared out of thin air. My husband didn’t see him either!

Another time, I was at Walmart coming out and going to my car, with my shopping cart full of groceries . As I came to my car, a woman stopped me beside my car. She told me I was in need of this and she pinned an angel pin onto my jacket, gave me a hug, got in her car and left. I didn’t see her after that. To this day, I still wear the angel pin on my jacket.

Two very different incidents but both were very much out of place, not normal. I opened myself up to the possibility of God’s messengers calling from a spiritual realm manifesting themselves as human, and that these two entities intersected with my life. I gave thanks to God for watching over me, testing me and encouraging me.

Miracles still happen, visitations from angels still happen. I do not believe in coincidence. God is letting us know He is there, drawing us closer to Him. Is your spirit sensitized to God or is it a stumbling stone?

Unawares: Angels can appear completely human, meaning we might interact with them without ever realizing their true nature.
The Call: The verse is an encouragement to treat everyone with kindness and generosity, as we never know when a stranger might actually be a messenger sent by God. 

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.” 

Hebrews 13:2 NIV

Keep on moving!

My husband and I had a challenging week that seems above the norm. It felt like we were under direct attack from the evil one. My husband slipped off a 4’ rock ledge breaking 2 ribs, banging his head, sustaining multiple scrapes, causing him to go to the emergency room.

The same week, I had a myriad of symptoms that ranged from migraines causing my sight to lose vision, to throwing up multiple times while I was trying to get my errands done in town. I had to clean my car up while feeling very sick and continue my errands. I wanted to rest the following day, but I had to keep my appointment with my oncologist to examine me and receive immunotherapy. My husband was too injured to drive me to my doctor’s appointment and on the way to my appointment the highway was blocked for up to a hour for missile testing. It was miserable to sit in the car in the hot sun when I’ve been sick the day before.

When things become hard, it’s very hard to continue; you want to quit. In times such as this, it is more important to look up to Jesus to ask Him for strength and perseverance to push through.

There’s a country song by Rodney Atkins called, “If You’re Going Through Hell,” that kept playing in my mind as we went through this trial.

The chorus rang out, “If you’re going through hell, keep on going, don’t slow down, if you’re scared don’t show it, you might get out before the devil even knows you’re there…

If you’re going through hell, keep on moving, face that fight, walk right through it, you might get out before the devil even knows you’re there…”

With God by your side, you can face whatever challenges that beset you.

“You dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”

1 John 4:4 NIV

“For everyone born of God overcomes the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the son of God.”

1 John 5:4-5 NIV

Your FAITH

Faith is such a beautiful thing. I was thinking back in my life when I put my faith to the test as I trusted other humans. One such time I was participating in a corporate team building day in a camp where you go through a series of obstacles having to depend on your teammates to get you through. There was one obstacle where I had to climb onto a platform and stand on the ledge facing backwards. My teammates had to catch me as I fell backwards into empty space trusting my companions to catch me and not hit the ground. They did! Or another time when I went skydiving with my son and I was attached to my parachute skydiver trusting he would see us safely down and that the parachute would open. Many years ago I was in a military camp, training to be a drill instructor, and had to climb “The ladder to the sky.” The higher you climbed, the ladder rungs were spaced further apart till your body was stretched out. I was afraid of heights and there was no padding on the ground to soften my fall if I slipped and fell. The drill instructor climbed the other side of the ladder and had to talk me through of letting go of the ladder rung to grab hold of the rung above me, hoist my leg over and pull my body over the top ladder rung and climb down. I trusted in the drill instructor to help me down safely.

As I reflect back on my life, there were so many more examples in my life of placing my faith, my trust in others to see me through situations where I had no control over the outcome.

God expects us to release our faith in Him when we are faced with uncertainty.

The first part in releasing your faith is to ask God for His protection and then commit yourself to the task in hand. It will be scary, difficult and the outcome uncertain. But once you have committed there’s no going back. God will never work until we commit. Faith is receiving the gifts God endowed us, having a spirit of abiding, by exercising those gifts such as putting on the Armor of God.

God asked Abraham to step out in faith to leave his home and travel to an unknown country. Out of faith, Abraham did. Because of Abraham’s faith, God credited him to be a righteous man.

The second part is to trust in God. He will be with you as you go through the fire. He has a plan for your life that will be so much better than you can imagine for yourself. As you go through trial it’s hard to make sense of it until you look back and see God’s wisdom in growing you, maturing you, bringing you into a deeper and closer relationship with Him.

Genuine faith puts its letter into the mailbox and lets go, trusting the post office that it will arrive at its destination. Distrust holds on to the envelope and it never reaches its destination. The letters the sender holds onto never reaches its recipient does not do any good for anyone until the sender lets go of the letter trusting them to the postal service.

The third step is to watch God work! He will do this to bring you to a higher level as you witness the completion of your trial changing you into a new creature bringing perseverance, a depth of character, and hope in the God Almighty.

How do you know if you released your faith in God over a situation that the outcome is uncertain?

By handing your circumstance over to God, allowing Him to work. Once we prayed to God and committed our trial to Him, you should not continue to be anxious. “Cast all your anxiety on Him,” (1 Peter 5:7), and another of God’s commands, “Do not be anxious about anything,” (Philippians 4:6). If we cast our burden on God, why do we take them back continually allowing our troubles to pressure us? If we carry our burdens from the throne of grace, it is obvious we have not left it at the throne of grace.

After committing something to God if you can come away with no more sadness, pain or anxiety in your heart, that is proof of the prayer of faith. But if you pray and then still carry your burden, then consider that your faith was not exercised.

When you petition the Lord in your troubles, let your follow up prayers be of thanksgiving to Him entrusting God to do a good work.

And you will experience the peace of God that is beyond understanding.

Faith is confidence …assurance about of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this.

Psalm 37:5

The Hope of Heaven

Two pillars of the Christian faith are the Cross where Jesus laid down His life to be the sacrifice by paying the blood price for our sins; like an unblemished lamb being sacrificed on our behalf. Secondly, by the Resurrection of Jesus, who took away the keys of death from Satan, conquered Satan by coming back to life on the third day after His crucifixion, so we may have everlasting life! On these two pillars we have the hope of living in Heaven with our Lord Jesus Christ forever.

Many have searched for hope in various ways, through other religions, mysticism, positive thoughts, mind control to name some. But only one way is true: it is the free gift of grace Jesus had atoned for our sins on the cross.

What god other than Jesus would lay down his life for others? None! What god other than Jesus have come back to life after death? None! Other man made gods have so many rules for us to follow, and maybe, if we work hard enough in righteous acts and rule keeping can we achieve heaven? The answer is no! One slip up would put us in jeopardy of our salvation and we will always slip up because we have a sin nature.

With Jesus, all we need to do is to receive the free gift of grace, heart believe it, not just intellectually believe, but grab hold of it with your heart and receive it. Believe in Jesus, let the Holy Spirit live in you and you too will have everlasting life. Get into His Word, the Bible, till it starts talking back to you.

What keeps us from accepting the free gift of grace?

Some people don’t want to change their lifestyles.

What people may not realize is that when they confess their sins, and believe in Jesus, the Holy Spirit comes to reside in them. A heart change starts happening inside the person without one even noticing at first! A heart change comes naturally without one even trying! You may start doing less and less of a bad habit because the desire leaves you. I have experienced this countless times and from glory to glory I become more like Christ.

There is a sense of neglect.

Soberly, we may think we have all the time in the world to accept Jesus, not realizing by putting off the decision to accept Jesus we are putting our souls in jeopardy of eternal torment. We do not know when our life is over, even in the next minute! Then it is too late. I have cancer and I have the realization that my life span may be shortened or it may not be shortened by God’s grace. I live day to day depending on Jesus to get me through. We have no control when it is our time to pass away. Now is the time to make the decision to accept Christ as our Savior for we are not guaranteed tomorrow.

You see, our salvation is not dependent on our righteousness to go to Heaven. It is by Jesus’ righteousness and His work on the cross that we are saved. Jesus sits on the throne next to His Father, resting because His work on the cross is finished. We are righteous because God the Father sees His son Jesus when He looks upon us and we are covered in Jesus’ righteousness. Our spirit rests in Him, even though physically we may be here on earth living out our lives. This is the joy Christians have because we are at peace knowing our rest is in Him, and no matter how hard life can be, we are saved for everlasting life.

This is the great hope of Jesus Christ.

Jesus answered. “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know Him and have seen Him.”

John 14:6-7. NIV

In action

I am always humbled when love shows up in unexpected ways. I have been miserable lately feeling the effects of Chemo #5 and on top of that, I came down with the flu, no doubt due to low neutrophils, my immune system being compromised and I hurt everywhere. I basically stayed in bed for the first couple of days then slowly started recovering on day 5.

My husband took care of me in many various ways. He would get me a small glass of OJ to chase down Tylenol and DayQuil. He cleaned my floors for me. He washed the dishes. He picked up my popsicle sticks and carried it to the trash. He let me sleep for long stretches when I had no energy to give. He asked if I needed anything, always checking on me.

I also think about my family and friends. They allowed me to voice my worry and fret about my disease progression, always being supportive. I have a friend who more than once drove me to Las Cruces, a 1 1/2 hour trip, wait for 5 hours while I’m receiving chemotherapy, and drive me home. Friends that I text or email every day for encouragement and lighthearted texts. I think about my Church lifting me up in prayer, and my family placing me on their Church prayer lists.

I feel so blessed and thankful knowing God is showing His love for me through people and their actions of love.

It doesn’t always have to be a big deal to show love to someone. It can be the small things you do for others to let someone know they matter. That’s when love shows up again.

Lord, I pray to show my love for others through acts of kindness and encouragement.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 13:34-35 ESV

Just Like Riding A Bike

When I was a young kid, my parents gave me a 10 speed bike for my birthday. I remember it now. The bike was sparkly emerald green in color, girl style and I graduated from training wheels to the real deal! It was the coolest thing ever! I remembered thinking surely a motorcycle would be next! (Never happened!)

I took off on my bike smoothly, still wobbly in turning it around on the corners. I headed into the neighbors driveway to turn around, and as I turned around and pedaled around my neighbor’s car, I took my attention off where I was going and focused on the parked car. Where my eyes went so did my steering the bike. I got too close to their car and ended up smashing my fingers in an attempt not to crash my bike into their car! I was successful in not crashing but I still ended up with smashed fingers!

It reminds me of my walk with Jesus.

Sometimes I am coasting downhill with the wind on my face and everything is golden. Sometimes when pedaling uphill feels like I am standing still, barely making any progress. When I keep my eyes focused to where I am going, I don’t crash. When I become distracted by my present surroundings my attention falters to where I’m going and many times, end up crashing.

Whatever mountain top view or valley view you experience in your life, keep your eyes on Jesus. There’s a song by Tauren Wells that is one of my favorite songs, called Hills and Valleys. In essence it is a reminder to balance your life by thanking Him for the mountain top experiences, His blessings and providence, for you didn’t get there on your own. In the valleys, remember to lift your eyes to the One that sees you there, for you are not alone, He will walk with you in trouble.

There’s always hope, He sees you through the difficult times. You are His child, His family, and the lessons we learn in the hilltops and valleys gives us a richness of character, a maturity that prepares us for coming home to live in Heaven. The mountain top and valley experiences reminds us that Heaven is even more glorious full of joy, peace and love knowing we finally will be home with our Savior, Jesus Christ. Forever and amen!

Jesus Christ is the balancer of your life.

“I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:14

of God my Savior

I recently underwent CT Scans of my lungs, thorax, neck and abdomen where my cancer has metastasized to check and see if I am winning the war over cancer. With bated breath, I waited for the final reports. When the final reports came back, it was a mixture of good and bad news. Good news: the cancer in my neck, thorax, lungs and abdomen have either stabilized or shrunk! Bad news: there are newly formed cancer nodules in my lungs and in my lower pelvis area of my abdomen that are a threat. How I wish I could read on these reports, “No enlarged lymph nodes, no sign of cancer.

In the Bible, in the book of Joshua, tells the story of Joshua conquering land that the Lord promised him and the nation of Israel so each Israelite clan could claim their own territory to live on. The Lord said to Joshua:

“I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses.”
Joshua 1:3 NIV

The Lord set the boundaries for the Promised Land on one condition that the Israelites must march across the length and breadth, measuring it off with their own feet. Yet they never marched more than one-third of the land and therefore they never possessed more than that one-third. They possessed only what they measured off and no more.

We must measure off the whole territory of our challenges with the feet of obedient faith claiming victory in the promises of God. God has a magnificent plan for our lives and we need to possess it claiming His promises as our own.

Faith in God must not waiver, we might be in a long drawn out battle, but we must persevere , keeping our eyes on Jesus to enter into His rest confident of victory of receiving all His promises fulfilled in us. In my case it is the promise of total healing – no matter what the scans say, or what the doctor may say.

I confess I still struggle with 100% faith that I will be healed. Just as the father, desperately wanting his son to be healed from his affliction, said to Jesus, “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:24 NIV. – And Jesus healed the son.

I need to get a larger map!

”His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.”

2 Peter 1:3-4

Is it becoming a lost commodity?

It was on one of those typical Saturday afternoons, I was grocery shopping at Walmart getting groceries and supplies for our house. Just another get the errands done day. I had my system down of what areas to go to first in the store like a well oiled machine for the best efficiency and speed to get in and out. As I turned my grocery basket onto the aisle to get one of those big 40 pack water bottles, the aisle was somewhat congested but I paid no mind as I struggled to lift the pack of water to place in my shopping cart. All of a sudden, a hand laid on my arm. It startled me and as I looked up, a young child who was sitting in the front of her mother’s shopping cart had leaned over and out of the mouth of babes said, “It’s going to be alright.” I smiled at her as the child’s mother smiled at me. I replied, “Thank you honey!” As I wheeled my shopping cart away, tears came to my eyes. Somebody, a small child, saw me, and had compassion. It really touched my heart that just for a moment, a stranger extended kindness to me. I will always remember that.

Sometimes that’s all what is needed, a reassuring smile, a gentleness in someone’s eyes, letting someone know you see them.

This world seems to becoming more angry, impatient, and bitter with each other. We don’t watch what we say to each other as much as we used to and are indifferent to hurting each other’s feelings.

Is it always more important to be right than considering the other person? Do we always have to place our needs over others?

God created us all, and He likes variety! He created different cultures, skin tones, languages, and mindsets.

In fact, Jesus had two commands He wants us to follow:

Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:36-39. NIV

With the Holy Spirit’s help we can be changed on the inside and the love that the Lord infuses in us can radiate outwardly to others. For those who don’t know the Lord, small acts of love and kindness can touch another’s heart and be a testimony of Jesus to point them to the light just by our actions.

Just as that little girl did for me.

”But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things, there is no law.”

Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

Changing your life from the inside out

I always seem to be fighting myself! I know intellectually what I need to do to take care of myself both spiritually and physically. But I always fight an inward battle within myself.

Why do I do what I shouldn’t do and struggle to do what I should do?

Paul expresses it so eloquently:

”For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. “ Romans 6:18-20 NIV

”What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Romans 6:24-25 NIV

I recently found out from a CT scan I underwent in December 2025, the radiation treatment I received in October 2025 on my neck, some cancer cells escaped my neck and went into my lungs. I can’t seem to win for losing ground! The chemo drug I am currently receiving is causing hand-foot syndrome and extreme fatigue. This is the 3rd series of chemotherapy treatments I underwent in the past 4 years in my fight to kill the cancer. In the process of suppressing/killing cancer cells, other organs inside my body are suffering adverse effects that will have lasting negative consequences I will have to face in my future.

I was watching one of my favorite preachers on Daystar Christian Network, and at the beginning of every new year Pastor Jentezen Franklin preaches for a reset both body and spirit with a fast dedicated to God. The first few days he recommends a liquid fast, followed with the Daniel Fast which follows a vegetarian diet of juicing, steamed vegetables, no red meat for either 10 days or 21 days.
*You can google The Daniel Fast for more information.

This is also the type of diet that cancer hates, for it starves the cancer and kills the cancer stem cells. I started out the first day very shaky and in truth only lasted until mid afternoon as I caved in to my fleshly desires for the western type diet. I was very discouraged. How can I be so weak?!

I realized I cannot make major life changes without Jesus in me to strengthen me. For Christ to strengthen me is through prayer, meditation on His Word, praising Him, and the Holy Spirit removing those old desires.

The following week, Pastor Jentezen Franklin said if you fell off your diet and had that double cheese burger, get up and start over again! I told myself, “Just because I had a set back doesn’t mean that I should give up!” I believe this is the learning process of being disciplined; not to stay stuck in your circumstance but in persevering, determination and in partnership with Christ will bring health and peace to your body and soul.

I will get up and start over again. I have bought a juicer, a hydrogen bottle, I’m eating veggies and fruits, becoming a sprout farmer, and I’m taking supplements. For the times I fail, I know I will overall succeed for as I am in Christ, His righteousness covers me and I become righteous because of Jesus. I will transform from glory to glory, starting from the inside out, including letting go of traditional cancer treatments and embracing the food that God intended for us to thrive. Amen!

Dear Lord, I pray for discipline in my spiritual life to read your Word, be in constant prayer, meditation and praise. Secondly in my physical body to eat the foods you intended us to eat as in the Garden of Eden for health, happiness and strength. Help me to let go of the western diet, by removing those fleshly desires. Amen 🙏

Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Michael, and Azariah. “Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.” So he agreed and tested them for ten days. At the end of ten days they looked healthy and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. Daniel 1:11-15 NIV